03 September 2007
30 August 2007
God has been taken out of the schools, and children are no longer encouraged to believe in HIM, and HE shouldn't be mentioned. I have been amazed at how HE can work with that! There is mothers group who prays regularly together, for the schools that thier children are in...The children in Middles school and High School have started a Bible study/ prayer group, and the school had to let them as it falls under interest, and/or clubs...freedom of religion and all that political correctness we are forced to look at. So I have been thrilled at what has been happening with our children. We live in a fairly small community, both groups have an attendance of about 30-40 kids each week. Praise you Jesus!
At the bus company I have found about 30% of the drivers are Christian, and are reaching out to the children before and after school. I had to laugh this morning while I thought of this. Driving into the sunrise, praising God...and then just laughing! That is just like HIM -- tell HIM HE can't come in! The nerve of humans telling an almighty God what HE can do. He is surrounding it with HIMself in drivers, and infiltrating it with kids who are so anointed by the Spirit, and who have a boldness. They look out for each other, and give one another a smile, and companionship in a place where they normally would be alone. God is incredible!!
Today....I looked through my mirrors as always, and asked the LORD to just look after these children today, and not let one of them leave this planet without HIM. My heart just started to break for the ones with sadness and anger first thing in the morning. One of my five year olds who is near tears everyday...smiled today, and it was huge! I told her I have waited all week to see that! Don't you dare make we wait next week to see it again. She stopped on her way out of the bus and gave me a hug...she whispered "thanks for not letting the bad people get me"... My reply was simple.."I would not let them get you, are you out of your everlovin little mind!!..." she laughed, and I just said keep the beautiful smile going..and off she went. The HS girl I told you about, asked today if she looked nice..and she did. Today was her picture day, and she didn't feel very pretty. I told her "you may not feel pretty but sweeti you are drop dead gorgeous! You better have a talk to your feelings and tell them to get in line!" She left with a smile today too. Thank you Jesus! Do you love HIM so?? I am so crazy about HIM! HE just wipes little ones tears, and babies scared of the bad people, and teenagers who have no self esteem-He gives them a happy heart, and smile of confidence. I know HE pursues them just like me...I pray that they will let HIM catch them, and become all that HE has planned for them!
Been working on some other outreach things for the church, and getting things lined up to begin taking others with me in moving through the nieghorhood. All my apprehension is gone, and I just hear HIM (spiritual ears of course), they are going to come, I will bring them. You know, I am believing HIM!
Sorry I haven't gotten my pics from RI on yet...new pc, running Vista...and some of my programs are not working properly...so back to troubleshooting, and seeking out more drivers to work with Vista...so hopefully sometime this weekend!
Princess, God is everywhere! Let that settle on you for a minute...we sometimes quote scripture about HIM hemming us in..but make it personal, and try to visualize what that must look like..and dance...let no fear stop you, dream BIG, love like you were created for, sing even if it sounds terrible to you (it sounds beautiful to HIM), show tenderness and kindness it goes so much further than preaching "your all going to hell". Pray to see strangers around you through the eyes of Jesus. Ask HIM to break your heart over things that break HIS. Join us in the Dance! Yes somethings are difficult, but never too difficult for my GOD..after all HE got kicked out of school, and just created another way in...and now HE is more of a fixture than before. Don't you just love how HE always gets the last word! I do!! Princess HE will never send you out on a limb that HE will not climb out there beside you..HE loves you so much HE died for you, because HE didn't want to face eternity without you! Thats personal! Princess to Princess :)
28 August 2007
The KING is teaching me to move each step with HIM, and that all my plans have to be ready for demolition if HIS are not the same. HE and I are working through the Outreach and the directions for it...I know with all my heart that HE has the plan that works, and the one that is best. Tam made a comment on the last post about always having a Mountain top experience. Man I want to buy that! But here is my thinking....I do think HIS presence is always with us, and sometimes it is more noticeable than other times. I just know that some experiences that I call "Mountian top" are better than any drug this world has to offer, and the if HE doesn't take me off the mountain I will surely OD!! I can not take that much of a Holy God in this earthly body, so I will look forward to having those moments, and understand that it is a taste of Heaven, and a little more motivation to keep fighting the good fight. This Christian walk is full of valleys and rough terrain, and those are the times that we grow in our faith. I do believe Tam and I are on the same page, and she helped me to realize I had not made the statement clearly.
Father God, Yaweh, Abba, My KING,
It is well with my soul! I am willing to take the rough roads, and the valleys knowing that they will lead me closer to you, and to my mountain tops with you. End result - I will live in the house of the LORD forever! I watched faces today that were touched by kindness (that was you), and I watched as you worked in my children. I love that you love that much, and that even our smallest details of our day, you orchestrate. Thank you for teaching me to dance with you, and as hard as the lessons are, I would not trade one of them! I adore you my KING! Thanking you for watching over me while I sleep, and singing over me when I follow. How great is my GOD! How awesome you are, and there is no other! Light a fire in me that will only cause others to want what I have-YOU! Your Princess who loves all that You are, and wants to continue to come closer!
26 August 2007
The conference was about EVERYTHING! haha I laughed when Beth first told us that would be the word in summary to what we would learn. Here is some of the things that God laid on my heart through that time.
I am already empowered by HIM to do all that HE calls me to. I have to speak it and do it, and believe that whatever I need at any given time HE is it and has it, and EVERYTHING is in HIS hand and under HIS control. IF there is anything that does not fall under EVERYTHING then I may be in control of that! LOL Funny how I totally understood that thinking! HE was very loud to me about how I am not the only one who the enemy tries to pull and distract. (all though I know that...the enemy has a way of making me feel like I am totally incompetent.) I am embracing that and the enemy can shoot off all he wants...and it may even be true...but my God is EVERYTHING, and HE is more than competent to carry out all that HE says! I am humbled at the message that Beth delivered, and although I know God spoke to every one who would listen, I am totally amazed and blown away at how taylored it all seemed to be for me...from the first word, to the last...and everything in the middle.
I watched as HE changed hearts and I think 42 came to Christ. One heart changed is huge and only My KING can do that! I watched as other hearts were softened to HIM, and I love that look of submission to the LORD. Something you truly can not fake! LOL I am over joyed with the outcome, and all the awesome things I saw and did while I was there. I met up with Shelly, and what a sweet heart she is!! I love that the Lord has put her on my heart and we are praying her through! ( I will get some pics on when I get a chance) And I got to shake hands with Travis, and even talk to him for a minute.
My KING, YOU are EVERYTHING, and my EVERYTHING! There is nothing I will ever need that you will not give to me. Your power lives in me and I need to live through you. How very awesome you are to care so deeply about me. You know I hate coming off the mountian and I just want to stay in your arms and keep breathing in your glorious compassion. I know I need to move now back to the task set before me. Keeping you first in my mind, and your word in my heart. Thank you for setting me free, and for sending me out to help others to turn to you and also find freedom. YOU are mighty to save! The enemy is under my feet in Jesus Name, and my heart looks forward to the day when we all can stay with you and not have to walk through a cursed world, and see the damage of spiritual tornadoes. In my eyes the pictures are just as devastating. Thank you for your mercy, Oh how we need to bless your Name in the wilderness' of our life...and just keep praising you. Thank you for always being at work and never sleeping, for looking after even the finest detail...a starbucks next to my hotel...I was totally smiling at YOU! Love you my EVERYTHING KING, YOUR Princess who means EVERYTHING to YOU!
22 August 2007
I have been awarded this by Faith at The Great Aventure! She is the one that is so nice! Thanks Faith! If you haven't read her blog, I am plugging it now!
This is kind of funny at my home that I would get this award! I am sure I say at least once a week, that "I am nice!" Seems that speaking the truth sometimes comes with an edge (and God is working on me in that area). And lots of times people just don't want to hear Truth. I grew up in the city so my speech is definitely harsh to people who have always lived in Suburbia, or in the country their whole life..but "I am still nice!" LOL My hubs will get a good laugh out of this. :)
I have been encouraged here by many many of my sisters in Christ, and all of them are nice, I am going to attempt to pick four (only four?). I am now giving this award to Leah-The Point, Deborah-deborah's encouragement, Deb-God's gal, Tam-In Progress! Okay yall have an awesome day and "Be Nice". I know you are, some of us alittle misunderstood, isn't it great that God knows the heart!?!
20 August 2007
We have been very busy lately with sports, and school to begin soon, which means my new job starts soon too! Bible study will begin in a few weeks, leading Daniel (Beth Moore) with a new group of women. Reaching out to my neighborhood will officially kicks off with some newbies in a couple weeks. I am very grateful to the Lord for giving me a few people who want to reach out and just don't know how. I am sure the Lord will show HIM self to them mightily!
I was reminded today in my quiet time of Gideon. The Lord called him "Mighty warrior", and I totally related to him saying "I am the least of these". Seems that is HIS favorite kind to show off for...so off we go with our small army of love, and hoping to show others a different picture of Christianity, and hope, healing, and provision. A sweet friend of mine sent me a stickynote today that said "...mighty woman of God.." and I cried b/c I had just had that conversation with God. I love how HE confirms HIM self! So I am all Eph 6'd (God's gal thanks for reminding me), and think I will start my day with that reminder.
If you want some totally awesome digging on your own...check out Princess Gods Gal and her "BLT's"( on my princess list). I am longing for more time to dig with her! I am so blessed by so many Godly women on this blog! I am just in awe of my awesome King, and how HE encourages me through so many of you! Thanks for your faithfulness to HIM, and your obedience in speaking the truth. Thank you for your prayers and please keep them coming! I may never get the chance to meet you all in person here on earth, but I am sure I will not only meet you in heaven but I will know you...."we be gettin our party on!", dancing around the throne! It is all going to be worth it...HE is going to worth it! Stay focused..all eyes on HIM, Princess you are a mighty warrior, go in the name of JESUS!
**must read--Princess Deborah (deborah's-encouragement-also on Princess list), her Meme's are the best...and I will do one later. but scroll through her some of her writings...my favorite- "One high heel and one slipper" absolutely love it and the reminder of balance in our life..love ya dolla!
17 August 2007
What happened to the "church" in Acts? Where did the thinking and passion go? Why are we so stuck in routine and schedules?? I remember once the bulletin for church could not be printed, and it caused so much of a problem for some people...got very ugly! And don't even go there if the service is running past the designated time of 11:30am! Well dinner will burn...all about food, or the race is starting and as an avid fan leaving church is acceptable! None of this is happening at the church I am active in, but it has happened at another church I attended. After visiting Friendly Christian, I had to look at what people think of us as Christians. None of which I had not heard before, but something about global entries, and hearing the same view from so many, rocked my boat!
I know all the right answers-spiritually, and I get it! truly, my hang up is how and when will we as a body (not individuals) get it! The great commission is not for some and for others write a check. I cannot find one verse that says go ahead and write a check and then go home and stay in your complacency and all is good. I am aware that some of what they see is the enemy and the blinders he has on them, but alot of it is truth about the Bride. Honestly, I fear for her. We have been so blessed, and we take our KING for granted, and just think we can continue to ask for anything and do nothing the way HE has laid it out. If it did not work for Israel in the Old testament , why would it work for us! We have so many idols, and although they don't sit on a shelf, they live in our hearts. And the worst part to me is non-believers are watching us as we disregard what our King has said, and we think we are smart enough to debate HIM!
I have had some serious Holy Fear! How much will HE take of our disobedience, when will we wake up as HIS body and take our place, serve where HE sends us, and go face down before our Creator. There truly is none like HIM and none more powerful. I love the whole love aspect of my God as much as anyone. But there are so many other characteristics in HIM, and HE truly can multitask! HE is all of HIS characteristics at once. My head can't even grasp that!
We as a body are making a statement to the world but not the one we are supposed to. They see us as frauds, a money making business, and an elite club.
Princess lets start with us...let's be real ! Let's start today to commit to being what HE wants us to be, and walking in HIS shadow. Disregarding all things that would come between HIM and ourselves. Let's love each other, and help those who have fallen-not shoot them. Let's be real! This is a difficult road at times, and we need eachother to keep going on it. Let's lay down our idols, and worship the only one worthy of it. Or as any good father would do when rebellion sets in...HE is going to reprimand us, and leave us on our own to our own thinking. And yes HE will, it is all through the Bible (OT) rebellion required a time of bondage...(NT) the church is warned..HE will take away our lampstand....Read the first few chapters of Revelation and remember it is a letter to the churches...we are one...which one do we fall into??? Reality check for me.
Love you and I know we have so much more to live for, and so much more to do, and so much more to know and love about HIM. Have a great day in the LORD, BE REAL!!
14 August 2007
I am thankful for :
-my children, who think I am old as dirt. :)
-my noble Knight, who provides and is my best friend.
-my home, so many homeless people in the world.
-the change in temperature (PA has had 103 temps with the worst humidity)
-my Bible that I can freely carry anywhere, and the hope it gives.
-the privilege to pray to God and that HE hears and answers.
-the privilege to attend church.
-my Pastor who has been a picture of Jesus to me.
-the Bible study women who think I need to continue to be thier leader.
-God's mercy that is new every morning(i always need a truck load)
-being able to have a new day.
-knowing HIM and having the blessing to know HIM more!
- Rhode Island tickets including a bus transportation so I don't even have to drive!
-new job to start in a couple weeks-the bus driving saga continues!
-pets who are a picture of what unconditional love must look like.
-Beth Moore studies, and looking forward to Esther.
-laughter, it really is good medicine for the soul!
-our new car that starts every time I get in it.
-my blog sisters, how very much they encourage and bless my heart(laughter again).
-for a new roof...let the rain begin
-my heart that is thankful this morning.
A little comic relief this morning. My little man (who I will have to stop calling that soon as he looks me in the eyes), has started football. I have nothing against football, I just have been lost in why he wanted to play. He is active and loves sports, but self discipline is not his strongest suit. As I watch him practice and hear him complain about his aches and pains, I just want to know why? Very seriously, he reminded me that he is getting older now(11), and well he heard his sisters talking and is convinced that "babes" love football players, and when he gets older he wants one! haha I did not laugh in front of him at that point. But then he continued...looking around the room..."I don't want my own Babe right now, when you get one you have to buy them all this stuff!" then I laughed! So in all his serious painful effort we are going to practice, and I can't help but wonder...Are the "babes" worth it? He is very sure they are! :) When he was younger, he asked if I had a dinosaur for a pet when I was a kid. hahaha I am 45 but I am not that old! Little boys are so different from little girls, and I don't have a preference, but God has shown me some awesome things through a little boys eyes! :) They really don't learn to be little boys in gym class, it is born in them! What a gift he is to me!
Have a good day in the Lord, and have a thankful heart, and don't forget to laugh! Laughter is a gift!
13 August 2007
I spoke of the out reach in earlier posts, and wanting to start with the children in my area. I have stressed over boards in the church, I have stressed over prayer support...and this morning I am repentant for unbelief. What I felt was the first step proved to be no step...hahaha God totally opened the door, and all we had to do was walk through it! Prayer support-God provided in my siesta sistas, dollas, diva princess'. I saw with my own eyes yesterday the power of your prayers, and I thank you for interceeding on our behalf. I love how the whole thing works, although I don't understand it and don't think I want to...I think I would rather stand in Awe and worship our Father of Unfailing Love, who does not send us with out HIS own plan in place. HE does not fail us!
My King, Yahweh, Abba,
It is a gift just to stand in Awe and worship You. In all your power and beauty, I am overwhelmed in the fact that You move Heaven and Earth on our behalf. "who is man that you would be mindful of him"...thank you that you are so very detailed in our lives. Forgive my foolishness and unbelief, if there is any pride in me, please bring it in my face and deal with it. I know that the road to You is not the easier of the two, but it is the blessed one, resulting in crossing the finish line and You are my great Reward! Thank you for my sisters in You, and how they encourage me, and for the prayer cover you have provided. Thank you for opening the door, and allowing us to see it and walk through. Thank you for the sunshine this moring that is such an awesome display of your faithfulness to me, and a constant reminder to walk in Your light. Jesus, again today I want more than anything to live for you, and to be a picture of YOU to someone else. Touch my lips with coal from your altar, and purify me to stand in your presence-the presence of my HOLY GOD, and stand in Awe and worship. Send me. Overwhelmed in your Goodness, Your Princess
10 August 2007
Jesus said HE is the light of the world, and if HE is held up HE will gather all men to HIM self. In I Peter 2, we are reminded that we are holy nation that is a holy priesthood to spread the fragrance of knowing HIM. We have been delivered from darkness into HIS marvelous light!
The King reminded me gently nudging my heart that walking in the light is not only the best place to be, but to rejoice that we have been brought to it! I love when HIS joy is restored, and the excitement that comes with it. I was stuck yesterday that I need a prayer cover to do this outreach, and not sure if I would have it, and just paraniod about going with out it...HE is so awesome and sweet! Earlier in the week, HE brought to my attention the awesome Body of Christ that blogs with me, and how very beautiful you all are, and yesterday and this morning has again shown me your beauty, and how HE moves HIS hand and a prayer cover is formed! I can not express in words how that has touched my heart, and helped me to push past the enemy and his mouth. Thank you! (Tam, that comment that you thought the princess didn't approve...came in out of cyber space today:), and it was the most awesome encouragement, I can see why the enemy didn't want me to get that one!)
My heart has two songs this morning running through it...and I know that is from the KING, one is, "I want to be in the light as you are in the light, want to shine like the stars in the heavens..Oh Lord be my light and be my salvation, all I want is to be in the Light."
and the other, (God knows I do not like many hymns..and lately HE gives me one..God's humor)
"Freely, Freely you have recieved, Freely freely give. Go in my name and because you believe others will know that I live"
What an awesome God we have! We are truly blessed, and HE really truly does provide what I need, even my prayer cover! I am so thrilled by that...my license plate on the front of my car says 'Got Prayer? (it does a soul good)'
Have a great day Princess, I am praying for YOU!
09 August 2007
I am repentant in that I have been dragging my feet, and being in doubt. We have done this before, and have been involved with others, and it seems that when it is at its strongest...the enemy rushes in and rips it apart. Don't know why I can't seem to keep the thinking that God is in control even in those situations, but HE is. SO HE sends us again.
Recently I received a phone call from someone that the LORD had put in front of me in an outreach, and honestly, I wasn't sure that she was getting it. Her life was so messed up, drugs, alcohol, prostitution, her son was taken from her and given to his alcoholic father. Sometimes her numbness to the world just seemed to consume her. But she was always respectful. I was dismissed from that outreach/rehab because when they throw someone out, we were all to walk away from that person, and not get emotionally involved. That is what I did, I went after her. Because I just wanted her to know that I did not lie to her, and Jesus is real, and HE does want to make a difference, and Jesus did not throw her back to the street.
Long story short...she is now 2 years clean and sober, has her son back, works a full time job, and is active in her church with her new faith family. She is one of the most beautiful young ladies I know. She gives all the glory to GOD. Her phone call was awesome encouragement. As I think about it, and converse with God about the whole episode with being dismissed, and how sweet HE is to pick her up and love on her, HE reminds me .... The shepherd leaves the flock to find that one lost sheep. I had doubted that I heard HIM right, why would you send me some where that dismisses me, and got real ugly! HE just held me, and again I am forced to look at the differences in HIS ways. Service to the KING, its not just a job its an adventure! :)
Party is on in Heaven over the one...so we don't know if we are going to reach one or 100, but this we do know....pray pray pray pray pray....the shepherd is sending us out for another lost sheep, all for HIS glory, for the Kingdom. Pray that we will stay focused, pray that we will have great discernment against the enemies schemes. Pray for the heart(s) that are being prepared as we go in "search and rescue". God is good, all the time! I love HIS heart!
08 August 2007
The KING has reminded me to continue to have a happy heart about the service I am in to HIM. Worship services (whether worshipful or not) are all about HIM, for HIM and to HIM. HE is capable to handle any who make a mockery of it, and to work in the hearts that make it all something it is not. How very capable HE is! HE is in control, and HIS ways are not mine. Whew! What relief that it is all about HIM, totally freeing me up to be exactly who HE has planned me to be, and to carry out the service to HIM that HE has ordained. Stay focused Princess, all eyes on Jesus, allow HIM to fill you with the love that you need for that moment, and grace to walk through whatever comes at you. HE is good! HE doesn't miss a beat.
There is a sadness today for those who are rejecting HIM. Since it is all about HIM, they are not rejecting me, but HIM. (can you see the freedom in this?) So today we move on this road again starting out strong from our quiet time, a new song on our lips, and happy that it is all about HIM. So today I pray for the body again to be strong in the Lord, to be overcomers in all that comes at them. I pray that the LORD will fill each of our hearts with HIS love so that we can give it to someone else. How I praise HIM that He does not grow weary of filling us, and it is HIS delight and desire that we love HIM and know HIM. We are the God Chasers of this generation, seeking out HIM and HIS perfecct will for us, and not just seeking blessings. We are blessed, and will continue to be blessed seeking HIM.
We bow before YOU, our KING, our Creator. YOU are everything we need and want. Everything is truly about YOU, and for you, and to you. Help us today to have heart more like Jesus, chasing your will, having a servant heart, and doing it all with a happy heart. We love you. There is none like you. Seeking YOU out today in everything we do. YOUR Princess in service to the KING
07 August 2007
So as you can see that is my heart, and I have asked the Lord several times in the past few years, "Why don't you just come back?, get me out of here!" HIS answer has been the same every time..."my bride is not ready", "love the body of Christ". I have to be honest in my answer to HIM...Your body is not nice, she is very critical, and judgemental, and she seems to pick and choose scriptures that work with whatever she is doing and disregard the rest. She is not welcoming to a stranger that is tattered, or smells bad. She does not want unchurched children climbing on the pews, and she does not have patience for their loud voices. My eyes have been opened to what HE has been telling me...she truly is not ready, and I have to love them the same as I do the lost. They may very well be lost too.
Praise is going up this morning for all that HE is showing me...
Thanking God for you my blog sisters, sistas, siestas, diva dollas, Princess', I have seen another heart of the body of Christ, and each one of you are totally beautiful, and a piece of HIS heart shown to me. You have all encouraged me greatly and blessed my heart. I have seen a true picture of Christ in these blog entries, and I thank HIM for leading me here, and for giving me you. I have longed for my sisters in Christ, to just get to know one...and HE sent many. HE always knows just how to touch my heart, and HE always gives me what I need to take the next step in following HIM. I love how you all are honest, and transparent, and love Jesus. I love how we all fall down and get back up, and lean on the Grace of God for whatever today brings. I do see Jesus bringing something good from the internet.
This morning as I pray to love the body of Christ, HE gave me picture of you all in my mind, and told me "you are doing it...this is my body" . Thank you Jesus!
Now I need to pray to love the ones who sit in churches, and are giving the body a bad rep. Well always a time of learning, and that willnot end til I meet HIM face to face. But how I am looking forward to that day. I want to hear HIM say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant".
Be encouraged in the Lord today, Princess you shine, and there is nothing more beautiful on this earth that seeing you all shine together!
06 August 2007
Once I got up very early, still dark out, with excitement because I planned to drive to the river to the overlook and catch the sunrise and do my quiet time there. I was excited because I knew from past experience that if I will just go out of my way to meet with the Lord, HE always shows up. The clouds rolled in, and there would be no visible sunrise this particular morning. Needless to say, I was bummin'. As I sat there I was praying for a break in the clouds and thinking I will just wait on HIM. HE never fails, and HE knows that I am here, and HE knows that just like the woman who touched HIS hem, I just want to touch HIM. Hours escaped me and I was packing up to leave, and I felt HIM touch me (not physically). I looked back at the sky, and there was the smallest ray of sunshine shooting through the clouds, and making a small beam of light on the river. HE spoke to my heart..."the sun is behind the clouds, but it is still there. If you watch long enough, you will see small rays of sunshine peak through. Do you believe that?" Of course I do. "then believe that sometimes you will not see me, but I am always there, and if you wait and watch for me, I will give you encourgement and show you little things that will delight your soul."
Shortly after that morning, I stepped into probably my darkest time. At wonderful time of healing, but I had no idea that would be the outcome. I remember as I was walking through my own spiritual wilderness...holding on to the truth that HE is here, HE is always here, I just can't see HIM. I focused on my Bible and knew ,with out a doubt, HE is here on all these pages. HE wrote this incredible love letter to me.
An eagle flew over me, and seemed to be showing off on the river, and I watched it for a long time, admired how it could just soar for long lengths of time without moving its wings. I thanked the Lord for showing me the Eagle. I stepped out of my darkness, and back into the light of HIS awesome fellowship. Remembering this:
No matter how dark it gets, no matter how the enemy tries to shove me back into the stronghold of fear, HE is always with me. When I can't think and things become clouded in my mind, run to my love letter from the KING, and in HIS perfect timing I will rise up on wings like eagles. Don't forget HIM, HE hasn't forgotten me.
Princess, HE is with you, and you also have HIS love letter written to you...rise up on wings like eagles..soar in HIS love!
03 August 2007
This morning I woke up knowing that I have had a rough couple of days, and anticipating another. I prayed, "I am not even starting this day if you are not coming with me", I felt HIM speak to my heart, "I am". As I begun to wake up more fully, HE placed on my heart, like only HE can do, a song that I have loved for many years, and somehow have forgotten. Intense encouragement from the Father. soon I was singing, and praising my King, and the rest just fell away. The song is from Nicole Nordeman, Woven and Spun. "I Am"....you really must listen to the song..I think its title may be Woven and Spun.
As a child I remember hearing for the first time the scripture being read "God said I AM"....Remember asking my mom...I am What??? What??...my mother was very annoyed with me. :) But I was honestly asking a serious question from a childs heart. Through the years HE has shown me what HE truly means by "I AM". How could I ever forget the awesome power of that name? As I study through the hebrew names given and reserved for the King, I ask HIM "will you be this for me", and HE always answers, "I AM". I think every verse in the song, speaks to a womans heart, in whatever stage of life she is presently in. Last night, I was pondering on what my sister, Princess Ang, at Little steps of Faith had written..."Who do you say that I am?" This morning I can answer simply.."I AM"!
Here is a line from the song that is taking over my mind this morning..."when I am weak, unable to speak, still I can call you by name..Creator, Savior, my Redeemer, Lord and King, beginning and the end..and HE says I AM."
Princess, whatever voids you are feeling today, what ever empty places are stirring in you, HE is the very thing you long for, and the very exact thing you need...healer, best friend, mighty warrior, lover, provider, ... I think you get point. Praise you Lord! YOU are our "I AM". Princess to Princess ( HE is a great dancer as well!)
02 August 2007
That speaks encouragement to my soul this morning. So many times I stumble while looking around me and seeing those I think are Godly, wondering why they do not have a call on thier life, and why they seem to have a much longer leash. I believe I am on the short leash, and it is springy at that. But the Lord has shown me to rejoice in it...I have found the narrow road, and following after the Father and being willing to obey in HIS leading is all that I need. There really is no room for discouragement in the Light of Jesus, there is just too much to rejoice about.
I love the WORD, and I love how HE is so very sweet to walk us through the pages and help us to apply what seems so familiar. It is truly alive and active!
Thank you Jesus for setting the pace, and giving us your words to help us understand all that we need to. Thank you for carrying the burdens of today, and lighting your fire in our hearts. How incredibly beautiful you are. Thank you for reminding me to pray for those you trouble me, and to bless those who try to tear me apart. Thank you for the reminder that you did not come for the well, you came for the sick. That is very humbling as I am forced to remember that without you we are sick, and lost, and pending the second death. Thank you for saving me, and for how you continue to stretch your hand out to a hurting world, full of sin, and loving on us. What a great an awesome God you are, Thank you for being my God! your Princess, in service to her King
31 July 2007
Phil. 4:20-says that our citizenship is in Heaven-Heaven is our home!
I Peter 2:9-11-says that we are a royal priesthood, a holy nation of people belonging to God! , Aliens and strangers in this world! Along with it comes a warning--do not give in to worldly sinful desires, they will wage war with your soul!
While thinking about this, and how often we fall to subtle things that work their way in to our minds, I have been praying about how..HOW..do we keep those things from happening, or Discernment is needed to be stronger to identify them when they do get in! HE, the King, has reminded me to think about things are praiseworthy, and excellent, and good...mmmmm after pondering these things again...the King is the only one Praise worthy, excellent and good!! Focus on the Lord, and anything that does not stand up to HIS standards disregard!
Spreading the knowledge of Christ to others is a pleasant smell to the Lord...as we do this we are to God the aroma of Jesus...(2Cor. 2:15). There is no better way to show our royalty than to be sanctified and to strive to step up our sanctification...meaning in the light of the fact, that the King lives with us, we are doing nothing that will hinder HIS presence, no language that would offend our King, no music or TV that I would not be comfortable knowing that Jesus is with me. That is guarding my mind, and my heart.
Sanctification=letting your royalty show, an aroma pleasant to the nose of the KING=spreading HIS gospel and making HIM known.
Princess, lets strive today to show off our royalty, and smell good too!!!!
If you are interested, pray about it, and let Word of Life know! Blessings!
28 July 2007
25 July 2007
Our first day on the beach...
It is not unusual to see dolphins here in OC maryland...but it is unusual to see them right in the breakers near the swimmers! Princess K let us know that "something big is in the water"...and then we did step back to see... one of the dolphins came close enough for us to see his very cute face and show off a little for us. We were all ecstatic to see them so close...but no one as much as Princess K!! She just squealed and was louder than the surf..."That is so God!!! Look what HE made and HE wants us to see it!!" Needless to say the people around us got Jesus on the beach, and if they didn't get any other message...they got that they were enjoying God's creation!
My family has a huge answer to prayer, and we are celebrating the goodness of the Lord. My Princess L has started to go to church regularly and has come home to the Lord, and she has brought her knight with her...there will be a church wedding in May 2008!!! Thank you Jesus for bringing her back to YOU. Her and I have been through so much together, and I can not tell you the joy I get from her smile..unexplainable! All my children give me great joy,but that one has been my Isaac more than once...and this was the time I just laid her on HIS altar, don't think I didn't plead with HIM for her, I have! But ultimately, I submitted to HIS will, and I just believe HE is good.
Princess K will soon be leaving something on my blog, as she wants to share with all her trip to NY, and open air with Word of Life. I am not going to steal her thunder...you will just have to wait for it.
Computers have never been allowed on vacation before in my family, but my son-in-love needs to check in with his work, and Scott needs to check in with the band (playing Saturday), and if they are allowed...then I am allowed to check in on my Siestas, sistas, and Dollas!!!
Keep praying for my family (me too) as we are here, there is way too much world to fall into! love ya, Me
21 July 2007
Service to the King can at times become overwhelming, and that is my own fault. Sometimes I just don't take the time to re-evaluate my situations, and ask HIM to carry it. I almost always come to this point in my everyday life that I wonder why this is too heavy when Jesus said it was light? Jesus did not lie, and there is not special trick to understanding what HE said. So the only other explaination I can come to is -- I have not come to HIM with the burden, or I would have the rest I need, somewhere along the road I travel I have picked up a different yoke! So I question myself:
1. Am I still learning from Jesus? or has someone or something taken over my thought process?
2. Am I showing signs of becoming more like HIM in the sense of being gentle and humble of heart??
3. Am I doing good things, but maybe not called to it??
4. Is Jesus still on the throne in my life??
5. Is there peace in my soul, and is there rest?
Along with a lot of other women, repentance is in order for not saying "no" to good things. God created us in HIS image but by no means are we God. Then there is also the spiritual battles that totally wear us down. We do need to rest, and focus on the LORD, and how very awesome HE is.
Father God, you know this princess' heart and you know that I want to be exactly where you are, joining you in YOUR work. Help me to walk closely to you and to make no decisions on my own. YOU alone know what is best for me. Thank you for calling us away to be with you, to sit at your feet, to hear your voice, and to admire your creation. Only YOU can pull that together, and you are so good to us. Thank you for providing vacation, and for allowing all my children to be there. I believe with all my heart this will be the best vacation, and you are working in each of our hearts. Anxiously waiting to rest and be with YOU! your Princess
Princess Siestas, Dollas, Don't carry anything that Jesus doesn't give to you, it will be just heavy, and your KING doesn't want that for you. Pick up a copy of "Come Away my Beloved", and fall in love with your Creator..HE is everything we want, and we need, and then HE always goes beyond that to just thrilling our souls!
19 July 2007
This was a very hard testing of my faith, and my love for Jesus. The outcome is that all worked out to HIS glory, and the enemy was defeated. I know he will be back and try again, but I know my God is big enough, and powerful enough, and knows the way.
"Do not compromise ME..." I have thought much about this phrase...and I now know why the writer of Psalm 119, continued to love God's laws, and ordinances, and repeated it over and over. Decisions need to made with scripture, and it doesn't fail. Alot of times it is very much against our grain and who we are...but the LORD has promised that whoever asks for wisdom will recieve it (James 1:5). In one of the most devastating times of my life, HE held me while I slept, and woke me in the morning with a new song on my lips, and filled me with joy that was unspeakable. Choosing HIS way is not natural but it is the choice to make. I don't know how HE does it, but once I make the choice for HIM and HIS way, things just start to fall into place, and HE fills me with the peace I need to move through each day. God is incredibly Good!!!
Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth , and the Life"...(John 14:6)
I am no theologian, but this speaks to my heart everytime I sense confusion. Jesus knows the way, because HE is the Way, there is not a shadow of darkness in HIM at all because HE is the Truth, and I am not even able to take a breath of air into me, unless He gives it to me. Yeah, there are some deeper ways to look at this verse, but I think we need to be simple first.
"Blogsville" is awesome, God is answering my prayer along with many others who have been hit by the enemy on the internet, HE is taking this thing for Glory...with our many testimonies to HIS goodness, HIS love, HIS forgiveness, HIS strength, HIS Word! Thank you my sisters in Christ, you encourage my heart, and help me to know that HE has given us each other to walk this very long road together. Helping each other up when we fall, singing and dancing, crying and praying together. (Proverbs 27:17)
Yes we have an enemy, and he is strong and he is angry, and since he can't take on our Dad, he tries to get to us. Our DAD has already marked the calendar in the heavenlies for the day when the enemy will be locked away for ever in a pit of fire...like all other prophesy in the Bible, this will happen! Our DAD rocks!, Rules! Reigns!!
14 July 2007
How I bow to your Holiness, You hold everything in your hand and still know the smallest detail of each and every one. Your majesty and beauty are breath taking, and there is none like you.
Forgive me for being overwhelmed and taking my eyes off you, and being so slow in remembering why I am sinking in this sea of life. your word says that as we confess our sin to you, you are faithful and just to forgive us our sin. Thankyou.
Today will be filled with more than I can do and I know that your strength again is my hope. I can do all things through you, and when I get tired and frustrated, you pick me up and help me to soar on wings like eagles. So again I give you this day, and pray to remember that you are in control of all things, and you have not forgotten not even one of your children. You know the plan you have for me. Thank you for your faithfulness.
Father I am burdened for the lost, and I know that all will not accept you, and allow you to right the wrongs in thier lives. But how that must break your heart when you continue to show yourself to them and they reject you, how you continue to throw them life boats, and they choose to drown. Thank you for letting me see this through your eyes, my feeling rejection and hitting the wall is nothing compared to what my Precious King is dealing with, and you have pure motives all the time.
As the world throws its distractions at me today, please help me to stay on the road you have laid out for me, that I will not turn to the right or the left, and my eyes will stay on you, the author and perfecter of my faith. How I thank you for giving me your son, and the reminder this morning of how your heart must have felt yet you did it for me and all of human-kind. So today I lay my children in you trustworthy hands, and pray for you to bring them up to be like you. Thank you for taking my sin away as far as the east is from the west.
Sweet King, my desire is to please you today, and bless your heart, and cause you to smile at me. Seeking your face and not only your hand. you are worthy of all my praise...(always in Jesus precious name), your Princess
13 July 2007
As I have been struggling with the fact that the LORD wants me to have a CDL, and My stepfather has clots in his lungs, my mom doesnt drive, my Princess Lace is making wedding plans, my Princess Katrina is in NY witnessing to people in Times Square, and my Knight Derek hated camp this year, and I am still hearing about it after 2 weeks! Precious Chica nicole needs Jesus...I am so exhausted. So today I was reminded that God has a plan, and it is okay that I do not know it or understand it. Thanking HIM that HE carries me when I can not see straight, drives the car home late at night, gives me smile for the little ones I care for. God really is good, and I have no idea how anyone can walk through this world without HIM.
As the Father and I spoke through out this day...HE reminded me of a box I put away, and that I really needed to get it out and refresh my mind in order to have strength for this day, and a focus that would be firm. What a treasure! The box is filled with all my notes, and quotes from Godly writers, and a very defined list of verses who tell me what and who HE is and what HE is capable of...I delight in these things. Also it has a study that I put together on Prayer, and the layout for a book a never wrote. Some how my mind has been convinced that these are my treasures from the KING, and they are. Each one was a lesson HIM and I went through in the middle of the night, early in the morning, and before I slept for many years. Each one bringing me closer to HIM, and falling in love with my Creator. Some of the lessons I have shared with the girls at the ChristianRehab, and some with the women at church.
These are not just my treasures, these are letters from KING, and they belong to everyone. I asked my Pastor if HE could locate a book for me that would compile my list in one cover...and he very softly and seriously said...It hasn't been written yet.
I don't know the first thing about writing a book, I am not even sure HE wants me to write it, maybe HE wants me to pass it on to someone already prepared to do this. Waiting on HIM for instruction, and asking forgiveness for wanting to keep some of the treasure for myself. Something vulnerable happens to me when I open that box...maybe just over my head...living beyond myself...
Thanking God for all my sisters in Blogville, and thanking HIM for showing me the body of Christ just as I thought it would be. I have asked HIM to see it, and my eyes have been opened.
One more step in being an overcomer, Princess in service to her KING.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes, friend of my dad
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? last night, probably again tonight
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I do!
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Don’t like lunch meats
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yes 3 plus a new son in love to be!
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? yea...I totally like me!
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Absolutely!, sometimes more than I should..working on that.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yep
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? when I was younger - yes, now i would probably just hurt myself!
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I hate cereal.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? no
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I can take care of myself if I had to, but not like the strongest person I know, strong in Jesus.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Mango ice with softserve vanilla icecream.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyes, they truly are a window to the soul.
15. RED OR PINK? Pink wonderful pretty pink, hot pink, soft pink.(no red please I will look like Bob the tomato).
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? some days I take on more than I can possibly do, and make myself cray trying to accomplish it!
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Princess Katrina, who is in NY on a missions trip.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Yes
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue jeans, no shoes! haha don't wear them unless I have to.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Dinner-hubby cooked on the grill, steak, and potato wedges, diet coke with splenda (we do not eat steak on the grill very often)
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? CeCe winans Throne Room, and Sheba whining...or maybe she is trying to sing to her creator too!
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? Shocking Orange!!!!
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Princess Lace, always smells like a princess, roses when they barely open.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My mother
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I do, she is so very much my sister Princess dolla! http://deborah-encouragment.blogspot.com/
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Hockey if Princess Katrina is playing, and football if my little Knight Derek is playing.
27. HAIR COLOR? Dark Brown with strong red highlight
28. EYE COLOR? dark brown
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? no, but I do where glasses..haha bi-focal but hidden lines..(i am not that old yet!)
30. FAVORITE FOOD? Italian, tex-mex
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy Endings
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Over the Hedge
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? lavendar french cut Tee
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Both!
35. HUGS OR KISSES? Both and lots of them please
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Not sure
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Not sure
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Andrew Murray- Wings like eagles
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? laptop, and not sure if I can apply anything to that little thing.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Nothing
42. FAVORITE SOUND? Children’s laughter, lucky my cat purring, Haley Sue my huskey talking to me (she is very vocal!, no idea what she is talking about but she has a lot to say!)
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? I used to like both..thank you Jesus for saving me from myself!
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Maine, USA
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I can talk for hours and not say a thing!
46.WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Lancaster, PA USA
47. WHAT SUPERPOWER WOULD YOU LIKE? More of Jesus
48. FAVORITE HOBBY? Reading, dreaming (haha), writing
49. A FRIEND THAT YOU WISH YOU COULD HANG OUT MORE WITH? Jesus
50. IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE RIGHT NOW, WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE? NEW YORK!!!!, doing outreach with katrina...or canada looking for Nicole, or KWA ZULU Natal (don't know where that is) meeting my dolla Deborah! (I think I said to many..oh well its my blog and I will write as many as I want...LOL)
If you are reading this, then you are tagged! Love you Sistas, dollas, Princess's!
10 July 2007
Many years of learning and applying the Word, and Grace beyond measure...I learned and still learn what a beautiful thing it is to have a Heavenly Father. HE provides all things for me, is patient beyond words. I am so honored to call HIM Abba, and know how very precious I am to HIM. The enemy would have liked me to disappear in my grief over past experiences, but I am not. I am holding on to the Truth. These are some things about my Abba that makes HIM priceless to me (beyond my salvation being first).
1. No matter what time of night, if a nightmare or thunderstorm shakes me, HE is there warm and safe, and reminding me that HE will sing over me while I sleep...HE is the watchman.
2. If loneliness sets in on me...HE makes me smile when HE reminds me HE would love to have a conversation, and He will snuggle up and fill my home. HE likes the amusement park too!
3. When the world gets to be more than I can stand...HE takes me to HIMself and we dance...did you know that "Turn your eyes upon Jesus" is a waltz? Close your eyes and sing it and dance with Jesus..it truly does make "the things of this world grow strangely dim, in the light of HIS glory and grace".
4. There is nothing to hard for my Abba, HE can absoutely do anything, fix anything, and prepare anything! Right now HE prepares a place for me to live with HIM forever!
5. Once after I had a miscarriage, in the winter, with snow on the ground...my son found a perfect yellow rose (my favorite) growing through the snow, in my yard. I almost dug that out, and thought it was dead...of course it was the most beautiful gift from my Abba. Some friends were at my house when it happened..and we all stared at it with our mouths hanging open. It was an incredible hug!
6. Of course disobedience is a factor at times, and I do know that no one can put a whoopin' on me like my Abba. And I deserved each one...but HE always reconciles, and definitely makes HIS point.
7. The most beautiful smile is HIS...sensing HIS approval, and loving shadow fall around me. Don't forget the kisses...sunsets and rises over the bay or lake or ocean...just the very best!!!
Now that I have showed you how very much this Princess loves her Daddy (Abba)....rejoice with me that HE is still freeing prisoners, and still being a Father to the Fatherless. **I think I have the best Dad!**;)
09 July 2007
Here goes- 5 things I love about Jesus...
1. Jesus is always here when no one else can be found, and HE is great company, sense of humor, loving, and totally awesome! Can you imagine the compassion HE had when telling the disciples of how things would go, and then telling them...Take heart, I have overcome the world...I am with you always...I want to love like that, with tenderness and compassion for what others are feeling.
2. I love the way Jesus extended HIS hand to the woman who sat curled up in the corner of the temple, and told her "woman thou are loosed", I believe HE freed her from more than a physical problem...maybe something deeper that cause the problem...HIS love always looks beyond the surface...I want to love like that.
3. I love how Jesus did not laugh the boys of thunder out of town when they requested to sit at either side of HIM in HIS kingdom. HE has so much understanding in our totally foolish thinking and still loves...I want to love like that.
4. I love the way Jesus spoke to the woman caught in adultery...HE looked past the general consentious, and did not care to be politically correct...and gave her another chance.."Unlimited Do-overs"...I want to love like that.
5. Jesus loved HIS fathers will more than HIS own, and died for the unrighteous, to build a bridge for me and you to cross over. HE rose again so that maybe I can love like that.
Now you are all still tagged! I just didn't get it right the first time. hahaha Jesus is good to us, and I did need a laugh!
Angela tagged me with this list. So as I was thinking of five things I dig about Jesus, the thing that struck me the most was His great love for us. He is the truest picture of humility. He is what servant leadership looks like. So here is my list.
1-He participated in creation of all things. He was involved in the grand plan of things. Yet He Still put on the flesh and became like us in our fleshly bodies leaving heaven and His heavenly body. All because of His crazy love for us.I want to love like that.
2-He washed His disciples dusty, dirty, probably smelly feet. He knew of the upcoming betrayal of one of His followers yet He chose to humble Himself in service to Judas this way anyway.I want to love like that.
3-He healed 10 lepers knowing that all of them would go away without saying a word of thanks to Him for His miracle except for one. But He chose to do it anyway.I want to love like that.
4-At the wedding in Cana, of all the first miracles He could perform He turned water into wine. Even though it was before His time and eventhough it was for no real significant reason except to obey and please His mother, He turned the water into wine. He did this eventhough no one would know other than his mother and the servants at the wedding.I want to love like that.
5-He talked to the woman. You know that woman with the bad reputation. That Samaritian who now lived with a man and had many failed marriages. He knew the disciples would see this interaction but He did not mind.I want to love like that.
Now it is my turn to tag five so I tag Deborah, Teri, Susan, Faith, Jesus Girl. Have Fun!
07 July 2007
How would we respond to someone who only ever shows up to ask for money, or for us to help them out of rough spots? Knowing that the person will not even as much as talk to us otherwise? We would not respond well, we might even disregard that person. God doesn't do that, HE continues to sit beside us and wait for us to acknowledge HIM. I believe that HIS heart breaks that we forget HIM so quickly in our lives, and that we compromise our relationship with HIM for momentary pleasures of this world. As my reading is in Isaiah this week, the picture of my culture is on the pages...this is not ancient history, we are repeating it. If we were exiles like Daniel, or the others, which kind would we be. Would we be angry with the Lord for not sparing us when we thought we were believing, and deserving of life without suffering, or would we be more like Daniel and believe that we must continue to walk in HIS light, and bow hearts and bodies to our KING, believing we are exactly where HE wants us to be for HIS glory? I am praying that I would be more like Daniel...remembering that if God allows pain and suffering to come to me, HE will be glorified in it, and therefore I am blessed!
While looking over my past recently, I am so very thrilled at the picture of Love that Jesus has shown me! Not only did HE love me through it all, HE takes the bad and makes it good! Amazing how HIS heart just doesn't change. I saw a sign outside of a church recently that really spoke to me..."If you are feeling that God is far away, guess who moved?" God is good all the time, and HE never moves! Unshakeable!
So as we move into the weekend with all the pleasures this world offers, my goal is to just remember that HE is here, and not to be rude...talk to HIM, include HIM, and not entertain things that would cause HIM to sit outside to wait for me. HE is not a genie, HE is my KING, my best Friend, my Creator, and HE chooses to be with us.
Father forgive us for our ungrateful hearts, and change our hearts. Make us more like you, give us more of you and less of us. Help our unbelief, and remind us through the day of who we are in you, and who you are to us. Please don't let this world desensitize us. Give us great hunger for your Word. How rude we have been when haven't talk to you, and yet ask for so many things. We don't deserve You, You freely give yourself. I am honored that you call me child, and have given me a new name...Please help us to be aware of the snares that are around us and to stay on the path that you have laid out for us...we want to stay in your shadow...the only shadow that provides Light! Love you love you love you, your princess
04 July 2007
Submission is not the dirty "S" word, it is not painful either. As a matter of fact, when submitting in the proper order, I come to know HIM more and love HIM more. HE has been teaching me to submit to HIM in things that just seem to be "crazy", and then the other places that I need to submit such as my husband, my Pastor, and godly counsel, are quite easy to do. HE knows that I have always had much trouble with authority as it has proved to be bad for me. So early morning lessons, and hands on activities with the LORD has been intense but extremely rewarding. Sooooo as submitting to the Lord and walking in faith not by sight has been required of me(for the last year).
About a year ago my heart was broken by someone very close to me, and I had to make an immediate choice...submit to the will of God and believe that nothing is out of HIS control, or walk away and break many hearts. The latter would have been my choice in the past. I did phone my friend and my Pastor who did encourage me to choose submission to God. Many were the advice of others to walk away. During my quiet time I cried to the LORD, and made the choice to follow HIM, even if HE slay me. ( I kind of felt dead already) The LORD spoke so very clearly to me that morning, "do not compromise ME, do not compromise other hearts". Submission, do things God's way. My heart healed in record time and everyone involved in my heart break has been brought closer to the LORD. It truly isn't about me, and it is all about HIM. How can I not forgive after all I have been forgiven? This was the first intense lesson of submission to the LORD.
For about two years I have entertained a thought about driving a school bus...this thought has been absurd to me! But again the LORD nudged me and asked if I believe HIM and if I would be obedient. I tried to disregard this whole bus thing, as my head just being difficult, and that it is totally crazy! I cannot drive a bus, and my learning days are about in...things come a lot slower than they use to. I found myself applying for bus job, not knowing anything about how or what. They sent me to the class to learn the book end of things...and also the behind the wheel training....what a faith walk!! I was and still am holding on to HIM with both hands(realizing that is right where HE loves me to be). Everyday I got out of the bus and was elated with HIS presence, I know that HE was in that bus, and although there was an instructor, HE was teaching. I just passed my CDL knowledge tests, on the first try, four tests. Jesus definitely walked into the test with me, and I believe HE gave me all the answers. Although it has been stressful for me, it was silly to get all worked up, HE always has a plan and HE is always in control.
Don't know what HIS plan is, or why HE wants me to have this license to drive heavy equipment, the yellow bus does not match my color schemes very well. But I wouldn't have missed being with HIM for the world. This whole life is about relationship with Jesus, and the deeper I go, the more I understand David saying..."taste and see"...This last year I have seen the whole earth filled with HIS glory...and critical lessons of submission, making the right choice, and walking in faith as an honor and a gift from my KING to come closer to HIM. And the praise will flow from my lips, because I know HE is good, and I know HE is right here with me always, and I know HIS way is best! No one can love us like Jesus, No one can fill our needs like Jesus, every little thing we need, HE has it, and does not grow tired of us. HE is totally in love with us! Hard not to fall in love with HIM, huh?
02 July 2007
At camp I met a man ( I was about 12) who told me HE knew God and knew that HE loved me, and wanted to be my Father. What a relief that was to me, and asked to know HIM too. I accepted Christ, and returned home, and was soon saddened by the fact that I was told, "you can not know God", and "stop being such a dreamer". My mother remarried and they took me to church and even made me learn scripture, as a chore to be able to go out on weekends. My hope was crushed and I didn't think much about God, except it was a nice religion.
I now walk with HIM daily, and I know God not all there is to know, but I know HIM. And like alot of others before me, I can not contain the good news and that it is free to everyone!
To make a very long story short; I got involved in drugs at 14 and in alcohol shortly after, met some very tough people who offered my security, and companionship. God no longer was even in my thought pattern at that time. After trying to commit suicide a couple times with not even as much as a hospital stay, I could not understand anything. I was starting to be convinced that if there were a God I was definitely cursed by HIM, to the point that I couldn't even die.
My first child was born to me single and her father killed himself when I was six months pregnant. I ran to a place along the river where I used to hide, and screamed at HIM..."If you are real, why are you not compassionate like I heard, and why would you leave this child without a daddy, and why must I continue to go through this life...why do you hate me so much!" Honestly I believe HE answered me that day, in a very serious voice..."that will be enough of addressing me like that!" I found myself in my car waking up, and no idea how long I was there or when I went there. But then HE spoke to my heart, and HE stooped into that pit and started to pull me out. HE had to teach me grace, I couldn't accept it because I didn't know what it was. He totally turned my world upside down the next few years, with my resistance out of ignorance. I tried to find someone to help me understand, to find a place to start in becoming a true disciple of Jesus. There were people along the way who were helpful, but mostly they couldn't understand the inner turmiol I was in, and the healing that needed to happen. God provided a trip for me to go to a seminar "Hearts set free". I never been to anything like that, and the first thing I saw was Beth Moore...and being a city girl, I liked her style, and she had my undivided attention. She has no idea how God used her to get me from one healing to another, and how she taught me through video how to use my Bible, and dig deep, and have my own Quiet time. Long before I knew she had an abusive past, I connected to her on the screen of my TV. How I thank God for sending her right to my living room, and for the way HE worked with me and then her video would confirm what I thought HE was telling me.
God has and is still stepping into the most vile of pits in all HIS holiness and picking up HIS children, and showing HIM self. HE is still taking hearts like mine that did not develope and making the new, and like HIS. I was the woman at the well. HE did give me living water. and now I am more like Mary who brought her alabaster box (filled with her treasure) to annoint the King with praise. ( I Love CeCe Winans song Alabaster box, just really sums it all up)
God is my awesome Warrior, my Deliverer, My constant Faithful friend, my security, and without HIS love, I would not know it. God is love, and people in the street need to hear that HE is real, and HE loves, and HE wants to change things. That Prostitutes can turn and get a new start, and there is hope for the hopeless. Thank you Jesus for being all this and so much more!
28 June 2007
The Lord reminded me this morning that no matter how things seem or how things turn out, HIS love is flowing and never ending. The task at hand is to continue to strive to love HIM with all my heart and soul and mind. Then and only then can we truly love others with the HIS love.
My husband plays in a band, and gives some time to the Recsue mission (homeless shelter) every month and holds out the gospel, it is always very rewarding. One cold evening, an elderly man, holding everything he owned in a small plastic bag, approached us. I sensed my children eyes staring at him, he spoke. "I would like to thank you for blessing my heart, and now as I have nothing to give you, I would like to bless your heart, this is a song that I sing to the Lord." honestly...the man had the most beautiful voice I have ever heard and sang his heart out in the parking lot. A very loud voice from that very small frail body. His song, "I love you Lord, I love you Lord, with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength, and I can do this because you first love me." I did know these words from the Bible, but had never heard them sang that way or with more feeling. The little elderly man turned a corner and I never seen him again, and no one else seemed to know he had ever been there. We drove home about 30 minutes in total silence...and overcome with the love of Jesus and how very ungrateful we have been. Could we have been entertaining an angel? We just don't know who we are holding out Jesus to, and we certainly don't want to miss the opportunity to bless the heart of our Lord.
We are all created in HIS image, we are to love all people, and to be an imitator of God (Eph.5:1). God is good all the time. HIS love is something to die for. Seems like we always try to shy away from the unlovely as they may be dangerous to us. My heart breaks for these people and I pray that our Father will raise up armies of love who have no fear, except only in HIM.
Thanks Jesusgirl for reminding me that I have much work to do, and to stay focused on this journey. Love love love love love...that is the job at hand.
26 June 2007
My home church has been doing a post Revelation study on Sundays, and this week it was on beoming weary in doing good. It really stirred a few things in me, as outreach is my heart, but sometimes it becomes very tiresome. I thought about the fields being white with harvest, but the workers are few. I thought about general weariness...family, wife and mother responsibilities, job...and then God spoke to my heart, and reminded me that I only have to please HIM, and HE is requiring my attention, my heart to love HIM, and to know and pursue HIM wherever HE goes. My weariness is mostly due to my lack of keeping my eyes fixed on HIM in total submission, and believing that HE can and will pull everything together.
The Lord also reminded me that HE is in control, and although I know that, my head seems to think it knows something and wants to help! that is always when trouble begins.
So again I come before my King, and ask HIM to forgive my unbelief, to strengthen me for what ever task HE has for me today, and to put all the people I love in HIS hands as HE always knows what's best, and HE knows the plans HE has for them as well. (HE always has a good plan) I realized today that no matter how much I know HIM, I will have to know HIM more, and only HE can make my heart a heart that loves HIM completely. HE is the Alpha and Omega , the Great I Am, and everything this little Princess needs for continued joy, and direction. My task is to live for HIM, and to honor and glorify HIM in all I say and do, to remember my need for HIM, and to stay close to the only ONE who always has my best interest at heart.
Jesus, what a beautiful name! What a wonderful friend, and lover of my soul! HE truly does drive me to strive to be an overcomer....Jesus is the reward at the end of this journey...Jesus is coming soon...Let's be ready...and claim our prize!